Behind the Scenes
by Krys33
Summary: Ever wonder how the characters feel about the situations we write them in? Let's find out as the team of Bones takes a break from starring in fic.


A/N: Okay, I first must give props to my inspiration, All-Knowing-Oracle's RENT fic, Ten Minute Break. It's utterly hilarious, and I thought it was about time for a parody on Bones fic. 'Cause God knows there are tons of overused storylines and underused characters in this fandom.

So I present you with:

Behind the Scenes, a story all about what our favorite Bones characters do when the get a break from starring in our lovely fic.

WARNING: Potentially offensive material and _extremely_ OOC characters ahead. Now, you can flame if you wish. I really don't care. Because I know that parts of this are hypocritical. Just know that I do love Bones and that this is all in good fun.

--

All the Bones characters traipsed into the fanfiction break room. Well, most of them. Dr. Goodman was already there, sitting on a well worn sofa.

"It's about time you guys got a break! I've been sitting here by myself for two hours!" He sighed. "No one ever writes about _me_."

Zach sat down next to Goodman, giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder. "It's okay. No one really writes about me either."

Brennan gave an exasperated sigh. "_Everyone_ writes about me. This work is exhausting!"

"The show is _about _you, sweetie." Angela spoke up. "I'm just glad I'm your best friend, or I wouldn't ever make an appearance either."

"That's not true!" Hodgins called. "You and I have had our share of fics recently."

"I guess. But whenever you and I are paired together, it's usually just a background story. Everyone writes about _them_." She pointed across the room to Booth and Brennan, now seated at a small card table.

Booth smirked. "Can't help it if everybody loves me."

"Everyone does _not_ love you." Brennan told him, smacking him on the shoulder. "They love the sexual tension between us. Speaking of which, when are people gonna let us go on a date, huh? All they write is us sleeping together."

"That's not so bad, is it?" Both Booth and Hodgins spoke at the same time, causing the agent to shoot him a withering glare.

Brennan shrugged. "It's just so unrealistic! I mean, come on. You're attractive and all, but I'm not about to jump into bed with you right after we kiss for the first time."

"Can't we talk about _me_?" Goodman called from his forgotten post next to Zach. "God knows no one else will."

Angela tried to be comforting. "Hey, you've made your appearance in a good share of stories."

"And all I get is a couple lines."

"At least people like you when you show up." Hodgins threw in. "Half the time I'm written as a sleazy womanizer."

Zach finally spoke again. "That's not too off, is it?"

Booth had to jump up and restrain Hodgins as he attempted to run at the young assistant. Once Jack had finally sulked off to go sit with Angela, Booth retook his seat at the table.

Angela affectionately put an arm around Hodgins' shoulders. "I'll slouch to help you look taller if it'll make you feel better."

Zach laughed, and Angela had to be the one to hold Hodgins back this time. He gave up on trying to go after him and instead settled on a verbal attack. "At least I'm frequently paired up with a regular. You only get original characters!"

"Be nice to Zach." Brennan threw in. "It's not his fault the show's writers never put in any unresolved sexual tension between him and another regular."

"That's 'cause there's so much of it between us." Booth said. "Which is why we're in so many fics."

A voice came over the loudspeaker. _"FIVE MINUTES!"_

Brennan sighed. "Great. In five minutes I have to back to that story where I have a kid no one knew about."

"Another one of those? Geez, hon." Angela abandoned Hodgins and came over to sit by her friend. "Who's the dad this time?"

"Hell if I know. They never say."

"At least you're not pregnant this time." Booth called. "You're get all moody when that happens."

"And it's always your kid. Why don't I ever get paired with someone else?"

Angela patted her shoulder. "Well, you and I have been written together a couple of times."

Hodgins' jaw dropped. "You never told me about that!" He called.

Brennan spoke, ignoring the entomologist's outburst. "I suppose you're right."

The voice came up again._ "BREAK'S OVER. BACK TO YOUR STORIES, GUYS!"_

Booth stood with a sigh. "Here we go."

And everyone followed him out of the room, leaving Goodman behind on the couch once more, calling to them as they left. "But what about _me_?"

--

So. I'm considering writing another chapter. Thoughts, people?


End file.
